Journal Entry: "Tough All Over"

Whoa! Things just got a whole lot busier. I’ve had a lot of ups and downs this week. Morning PT formation has been an hour earlier every day which means one hour less sleep, I have a moderate head-cold, we now have mandatory showers after PT which means our cleaning and maintenance time is compressed. My wall locker was left unsecured by accident and as punishment I have to carry all 30lbs of my clothing in my rucksack on my back all day for the entire week and get up every hour on the hour until midnight each night to check everyone’s locker to “ensure proper security”. And to top it all off, I was made Platoon Guide…again. The position carries not the prestige and honor here that it did at BCT. It’s a punishment to be sure. I’ve been handling it well, but this confluence of events has run me down to my most weakest point of health since joining the Army – and with no recuperation time on the schedule for another ten days. Though the stressors are artificially induced and from a logical perspective are utterly senseless, it is giving me a preview into the kind of high-pressure conditions I’ll certainly face when in country. The barracks standard operating procedures (SOP) has become increasingly more anal-retentive and now (damn it!) I’m the enforcer of all things absurd. The soldiers are taking the heightened restrictions very well and I’ve slid right back into a very comfortable leadership groove having learned many lessons in my tenure as PG at Basic. As it was at Ft. Jackson, this position is subject to an unprovoked, spontaneous termination so most likely I’ll be relieved (and boy will I be relieved) at some point in the not-to-distant future. Stay tuned. I’ve instituted some time-saving measures and a few organizational changes that are already starting to make a difference and just knowing that if I have to go to the mat with someone that a promise of swift and harsh Drill Sergeant brand justice will back me up should keep me from having too many compliance headaches. I doubt it’ll come down to that with these guys. Most are on-the-ball and don’t require the babysitting that was often necessary in Basic.

Had a little fun today. I switched the platoon motto temporarily from “Screw it! Drop the bomb!” – a Strangelovian creation of mine as it was, to “It puts the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose again!” my nod to the film classic “The Silence of the Lambs.” Some of the soldiers didn’t get it and weren’t sure about this total non-sequitor being thrown into the mix like that, but that all changed when they saw the irrepressible smile creep across the drill sergeant’s face. The rare complement of “Nice touch” and a quote back of “It does what its told!”, also from the movie, was our modest reward for our creative expression. I get the impression that all the other drill sergeants figure I’m a pretty decent guy with a good disposition and that I’m doing my best to keep things running smooth as they don’t give me a very hard time anymore, but Drill Sergeant Rose has maintained his intense and contemptuous attitude towards us all and I haven’t always been able to keep from betraying my disgust at his approach to our training. I hope that ultimately I’m wrong about him but for now the judgment is: “Complete Asshole.”

Tomorrow is the last day I have to wear that freakin’ duffle bag on my back, so the weekend’s looking up even though we’ve got another ruck march scheduled for Saturday morning. Step-off is at 0500, which means no sleeping in…again. But at this point we’ve become so much harder that no one even batted an eye when it was sprung on us this evening. Its probably just another 10k. No big deal. I can’t believe I’m saying that, but really, we’ve become accustomed to so much worse things that would have been unimaginably difficult and harsh in our past lives.

I received my official orders for combat this week. I’m going to need all the mental and intestinal fortitude that I can get. I’m not really thinking that far ahead though. Its enough just to get through the day.