Journal Entry: "Epilogue to Basic Training"

The last two weeks of BCT a week-long FTX (Field Training Exercise) called “Victory Forge” and another week of misery sitting around when not practicing for graduation ceremonies so we wouldn’t embarrass ourselves and our cadre in front of family and various VIPs in attendance. Victory Forge was a bit of a joke. I went in expecting some war-gaming and a chance to use some creativity, initiative and leadership skills. It turned out to be a completely canned and utterly disappointing experience. I certainly hope everyone’s prepares them for the wars we are facing in the immediate future and beyond because basic training most certainly is not. AS platoon guide I spent three times as much energy keeping a very reluctant group of young “soldiers” organized and occupied and taking the blame when they screwed up. It was very frustrating at times, not because of the soldiers but because of the cadre’s lack of effort and creativity and trust in those few who could have helped make it much more than just a silly camp out. In fact, their lack of confidence in our abilities was demoralizing. There seems to be some much emphasis these days on protecting us from failure that we forget how powerful a lesson it can be. Better to fail in controlled environments and learn our lessons without it costing lives than in the field where each mistake could be your last. This same “everyone’s a winner” mentality drives me nuts in the civilian world as well, for example schools that don’t let kids play games that have winners and losers (ostensibly to protect their fragile self-esteem). Parents and others who subscribe this philosophy of non-competition had best hope that their isolated insulated worlds don’t come crashing down around them as it will most certainly leave a large portion of young Americans ill-equipped to face the demands of this competitive and hostile world. Even though I am someone who does a bit of reading on the Darwinian “dominant model” vs. “cooperative model” and clearly sees the benefit of the cooperative mindset, it strikes me as irresponsible and sad to mistake healthy competition as an evil of some sort. I will never raise my children to be sheltered by the reality of the world I in which they live. I have too much faith in my blood to think they wouldn’t thrive in adversity.

One unintended, but positive experience from Victory Forge was from the final night. We finally got some unplanned ambushes, which was cool, but then around 3:45AM and impressive thunderstorm blew in. the entire company was forced under this tiny lightening protection pavilion where we stood in our ponchos until daybreak. I effectively did not sleep and spent four hours in the cold pouring rain, and then the next day we broke camp and marched another 10k, worked all day and…. it didn’t phase me. I learned that there is so much more I can handle than I thought I could, and it instilled confidence in me for the challenges that are sure to come.

The last week of basic was so boring that I hardly feel the need to mention it save to say that because of my PT score I received the PT award for the company and so was required to attend the graduation ceremony rehearsals. This would have been fine except that it was 18 frikkin’ degrees outside and you pretty much stood there the whole time. I received a bit of a pleasant surprise when we reached the parade field. Someone forgot to tell me that I had also been named “Soldier Leader of the Cycle.” I was kind of an anti-climactic reveal, but hey, I wasn’t complaining. It’s always nice to be recognized, but this particular award did a lot to restore my confidence in the Army. I had started to become a bit bitter as I watched virtually all my hard work go unacknowledged and knowing that the small band of screw-ups that were making the lives of everyone around them more difficult were going to share in an honor equal to my own. I had rather sarcastically decided that they would be making the “politically correct” selections for company honors based upon my observations up to that point. Thankfully, I was wrong. I do like it when life proves me wrong in unexpected ways. It’s always a good learning experience.
Family Day was the day before Graduation. Here it was: The day I had been waiting for for what seemed like years. I was strangely numb when the marched us up to the community center where inside my wife was waiting for me. After so much crap my mind was having a hard time believing these people would allow anything so wonderful to happen. I was expecting an hours-long ordeal where they called all 1000 of us individually, made us sign something, and whittled my precious time with my wife down to a few minutes before I had to be back at the barracks. Instead we were released immediately where we then commingles with about 3000 relatives, each trying to find their loved ones through a strangely non-Army-like process of wandering around until randomly bumping into one another. I shuffled around anxiously for about 10 minutes all the while wondering if somehow she’d not been able to make it when suddenly there was this scream about ten feet to my left and – there she was! Again, my mind failed to find the right emotion at first, choosing shock over elation. But as soon as she was in my arms I was transformed back into this amazing and beautiful woman’s husband. Seeing her again, touching her again, receiving that affection again was one of the most profound moments of my life. If I ever needed reassurance that I had chosen the right person to spend my life with, I got it ten-fold in that split second moment when our eyes met on the parade field.